That can happen because of a lack of communication, a lack of understanding or just misinterpreting what their spouse is thinking. It might be time for you to be more responsible and let your wife have some me-time. Pamper her with a spa day or take her out on a nice vacation for two, to break the monotony and give her the relaxation she truly needs and deserves. 2 weeks later I spoke to her again and ended up asking if she knew what I was suggesting. He snores so he sleeps in his own bedroom. My husband will not have sex with me anymore. At 78 and after 47 years of marriage I kind of resigned myself to a sexless marriage.My rabbi was married over 55 years and said he had 4 good years sohe was not complaining.He also said over 90 percent of members of the congregation were miserable in their marriages.I guess he and I. Hello Dave, Guys need intimacy too as well as sex and we love our spouses too. I was reading the original story and that exactly my life. Hi You cant really blame her, can you? Now masturbation does not work so well. Even if you have something as small as a minor headache or you cut yourself while cooking, a loving wife will always be ready to pounce and get the first aid kit. My wife says shes convinced that my strong sex drive saved our marriage that got us through our in-laws, the deaths of 2 of our children, accidents, emergencies, seriou surgeries, any one of which could have destroyed us. While men often connect to their wives through physical intimacy, a wife needs a mix of physical arousal and, Love Hormones Unraveling the Veracity of the Science of Love. For women its submitting to the protector of her choosing and bearing only his children. I lve my wife more now then when we got married. I go through the details of your sexual life. You can set things right on this front by planning special dates and mini-vacations so that you can both focus on each other and your relationship without worrying about work, finances, kids and other things. It doesnt necessarily make it better but it makes sense. . We had sex once last year and it had been a while prior to that, but she told me that due to the pain and all, she doesnt want to do it any more. Find someone who finds you attractive, become more attractive, get in shape (thats key). The subtle ways dates, touching, hoping havent worked and although years have passed, neither of you really understands yet how the other feels. For me she is the best woman I have ever been with. Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. . Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. Now after almost 50 years of marriage, I get two aging people going through the motions of life with a hug and a quick peck on the lips because to desire more means I am stressing him out or asking too much. 1 use and money making business on the internet. I am happy all the time, my hair is twice as thick as it was before, I had urge incontinence, which completely disappeared, it cut my knee joint pain in half, and best of all, I love sex again. Amen. An emotional affair or even a one-night stand that you think your wife doesnt know about? I bet if a man did ever6a woman does in one day he would not bitch about sex he would pass out. Hi, Nice advice. I understand that some people accept this type of relationship and just crave a good friend and companion for the rest of their life. I get it and don't want to add to her stress. When I was single it didnt bother me I just figured I was easily bored sexually. I hope this is helpful to someone. I had a client recently who was so angry at her spouse, she said she didnt want to have any physical intimacy with her husband, If he wants to get divorced, let him get divorced, she said. My wife is 61 and Im 57. Im Maried for 5 years and from one year until now my wife change completely like a different person she don't let me hold her hands or touch her or kiss her and sex more than 6 months that she don't have sex with me I asked her if she don't love me anymore and she say that she love me and I asked her why she's doing you know all the . Right now Im going on over three months since shes wanted sex. I could care less what he says or does. But I do like your advice, dont waste time with them and take whatever you can get now. I cant say all women are like this but the handful I have been with do not talk about what feels good to them or what they would like me to do and/or do differently. She had a hysterectomy years ago do to cancer concerns, about 5 years ago she had a stroke like episode but there where no signs of actual stroke damage and she had started botox/steroid therapy in her spinal column for pain issues so there is suspicion that caused it, but because of a possible stroke they wont give estrogen. If 2 people really love love,then they will find ways to please each other. Just be sensitive to what she's going through: If she's dealing with a significant illness or painful condition, for example, it may not be appropriate to push for more sex at this time. my dad still wants to have sex but my mom is too tired and no longer comfortable with sex. When we had our kids he was so mad because the babies got attention from me and thought when home they should take back stage. Some nice and some angry! It hard to bud out. Knowing I will never be wanted again in that way by her or any woman corrodes my spirit a little more each day. Im a 68, fun, attractive, domestic woman who loves intimacy. We started dating in high school and never separated. Its time to change your strategy. Yes Is so agree..No turning back!But Its now time replace her where she doesnt want to be part of.After 40 years 4kids 16 grands 5great Though I miss her warmth her ther body so much!Even after cancer twice majors surgerys reconstructions she still my one n only !N last one tooTime for me replace her affairs only way fishing..hunting ..camping ..some still with her!Rest myself alone ..others with son n grandsons while I still can getting around n driving! It sounds like you need a little bad-boy edge to get her engine revving. Praying for these husbands. I didnt have children hoping and wishing things would change!!! Married 36 years, neither of us had sex with anyone including each other until our wedding night: It was tough, but my choice. Join as many groups as you can, and leave him at home. We have had little to no connection with them since. Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. About 10 % Love 90% Hate. So now a hug one a day (maybe) and pecks on lips when leaving house. If your wife wont touch you, maybe something has changed. Medication also he ls good to me but his hobby ls everything to him he jokes around with me we are like room It is possible that a lack of sex may have shifted your focus on physical intimacy whereas a lack of emotional intimacy may be driving your wife away from the idea of sex. Once you cross into the no sex zone there is NO going back. Same for women who refuse to engage in sex with their partners. What to do about it: "You need to take the stress out of sex in three steps: Challenge your expectations, communicate effectively with your partner, and take the pressure off by using new physical experiences," Zimmerman advises. To some it may even taste nasty. Even to the point that when she gets sexually turned on it still causes her pain. I agree with Trish, Frustrated Daughter. Im so confused. My husband has showed be very no closen in for years. For fucks sake man. I wish she would just go away and never come back, shes got just about everything I own. Sounds like you should try therapy. If your wife feels less overburdened with household responsibilitiesand sees you making an active effort to take on your share of the loadyou might find she has more time, energy, and interest in sex. We see each other on a daily basis staying busy to supplement our income and find time to make love once per week. Hello Will, Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. Its worth discussing with your doctor. If there's no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and you've realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobology's panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. Good luck. Being in a sexless marriage is great, we havent had sex, intimacy togetherness for 40 years. Frankly Im tired of people pushing to try Testosterone replacement again. I couldnt relate to those feelings, but I was expected to understand them as a husband. She doesnt complain about helping me out but intercourse is quite painful for her and I dont want to press it if shes in pain. I understand all the reasons she doesnt want sex except one, if she actually loves me wouldnt there be some effort? She has the house and I have my private place seperate from the main house. In other words, pressure makes for bad sex even when you actually end up having it, and all that pressure and bad sex might make your wife just lose interest in sex completely. Thats abusive and hurtful too. She has become a roommate and a friend, but not a wife that gives me the joy and love we used to have. The distance could be herway of punishing you and teaching you a lesson. I am Married 47 years, I am 67 she is 70. With out being rude . But this past 6 months I see things slipping and I feel we are not getting that closeness and are becoming more distant even though we do many things together. "As we age, the vaginal lining becomes thinner, less elastic, and produces less moisture. Glenn, as a man to another man; its time to let that person go. I feel I am too old to move on by myself, most everything in our relationship is good, but sex is very bad. I actually considered early in my marriage that my husband might lean toward being gay and thats why he was somewhat uncomfortable having sex with me. They complain that the wife was open to sex anytime anywhere when they were dating but it all changed after kids were born. What to do about it: Remember that it's OK to not want sex with your partner sometimes. Foreplay doesnt start in the bedroom, foreplay is EVERY day regardless if sex is on the table or not. Ive moved on!!! Fear Of The Wife How Real Is It For Modern Men? Communication will go a long way in improving your sex life. I havent yet but I am going to find sex outside my home. My husband and I separated recently. But on the other side Id the coin, Im dying for not having any kind of touch. That had bee. // Replace PAGE_URL with your page's canonical URL variable I have done the majority of housework including doing the major role of raising our children from Pre school to leaving home. This was an enlightening comment and reflects what has been my marriage for 35 years. Instead, tell her how much you love being intimate with her, not only because it feels great but because it makes you feel more connected to her. Look, not to give your hubby a pass here, but please, understand that most men in our country, we who were raised in the 50s. Spice up your appearance. Peace. All through this past Covid year, only one time did she come forward an say I need a hug. In this new gynocentric west, the only answer is to find non-western women or women who were not raised in the west. Absolute rubbish! I set up a Revenge cheat. It's possible that you and your wife simply have different needs when it comes to sex. Sorry about no sex demise. that you would love to have *that* him back in your life. For the past eight years it has been like I am married to my sister. Ive been in one for about 47 years and Im the cause of it. He thinks that his low testosterone is the cause of his actions or lack of. She knows this is a psychological problem and doesnt reflect how I feel about her. Youd do things her way, when she wanted it, or else its divorce rape in the courts. Your husband is a very lucky man. But, as we have read many time here, that it is OK for the woman/wife to force her husband into a sexless marriage. I hope to eventually meet another same sex partner willing to take her time and see what works. I do raise the issue with her from time to time. You may have become so engrossed in your work or friends that you just dont spend quality time with your wife. If your wife is struggling with any mental health issues, she may be less interested in sex at the moment. This really sucks. Susan, I have one word for you intimacy and all the other women that do not understand the difference between intimacy and sex. But it nearly tore us apart. I knew I had to do something. Im guessing because you are complaining that your 59 year old husband is fat, lazy, snores and is demanding is the reason you dont have sex anymore? We dont understand anything about foreplay or romance. Mens sexual needs are purely physical and need to be fulfilled regularly. Oh, and me driving the car, she has panic attacks and asks I dont drive. Now its gotten where I cant get hard when Im with her, Im sure its mental causes. I love her but I need sex I cant survive with masturbation, being with a woman and everything that goes with it is so important to me. We tried and tried to get them to call us but their mother has convinced them that I am to blame for our sons death. Ive been accepting of her feelings and expectations. My wife is 54 and started menopause at 46. My wife and I hadnt had sex for more than a year. Your wife may simply just not want sex as regularly as you do, and she may not even know how important sex is to you. But his belly sticks out a lot and makes it extremely difficult to get in because of 3 things. Wow wish my hubby was so attentive as you! I am planning a divorce, as I wont live out the remaining 20-30 years of my life without love and affection. This can be difficult since, statistically, couples are not as willing to talk about sexual matters the same way they would other conflicts, such as children or finances. I sincerely hope is wife is open to exploring options. People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. My (50m) wife (48f) and I had a great sexual relationship for most of our marriage. Cheating is easy and you deserve it. so that leaves to so totally frustrated angry resentful and I hate to say it but it is beginning to I think turn to I hate her. Hello Elle, If you want to romance her at 11 p.m., you need to understand that she needs time to sleep! she adds. And when that happens, what used to turn you on about your wife wont turn you on anymore. there is NO physical connection PLUS no sex. Super heart broken!!! Ask your wife what she likes and what would be sexy and pleasurable for her. Reaching orgasm can become difficult or seem impossible.". !life is def funny!! But. As we age we need to look at things with a different perspective. Even too much Viagra can cause things like blindness. Its good for your general health, your sexual health and your sense of well-being. interested in sex as they grow older but I find that to be true of men as well at least in the case of my husband! I have tried everything too, to no avail, things only get worse, not better. Sounds like you were already successful and that attracted her to you. Ive always had this feeling from the first of our marriage that he felt somewhat uncomfortable having sex but that it was permissible if we were trying to procreate, but never just for fun or enjoyment. I just dont understand. This sounds exactly like my situation although I am the husband. Look, I am an RN and living with a man who is 5 years older than me. I did some self searching and recognized that the marriage had been one of convenience and the love wasnt there for me. messages where she was being flirtatious to a local musician . Haha Im not going to belittle my husband and make him feel less of a man when he is the one with impotence. Couples counseling can help the two of you get back on track in your marriage and the bedroom. Im affectionate and do everything, but Im tired So I turn to porn and search things that include wife. And thats where I get my relief. Now its Im sore there. Id been wearing blinders believing shed never cheat. Im just not happy & want much more for in life. Some doctors will prescribe testosterone and advise DHEA supplementation. Being refused is an essential part of the life of a person who is proactive in getting his or her wants met. I actually stopped having sex with her last night because she told me to hurry up. nuff said. I can live with that, but I can not live with never being touched or made love to ever again. Or if your wife does have a known medical issue, talk to each other about how your sex life might be being affected and ways you can work together to keep your sex life healthy. I get tired of waking up because I realize Im having an erotic dream and humping the bed. My wife weight has ballooned once the kids were born (25 years ago) And she has never wanted to lose it but just accept it. I could do as well financially as a single person and there are women who would be happy with what I can provide, both financially and intimately. Hes had issues with porn for a long time. Perhaps there's a desire discrepancy between you, whether in general or just at this particular time in your lives, and you're both very aware of it. A marriage I have no interest in ending, ever. If you have to ask whats so I important about having sex, you must be doing it wrong. If it wasnt for this site I would had forgotten that the word sex even existed! If your wife never initiates sex, its time to bring out your inner charmer and start romancing your wife. I have the sex drive I had when I was 20, and I feel like me again. LoL. I dont masturbate much because I would prefer to be with her. And Marley, I deeply sorry for your situation. Shes been mostly dry since a few years before menopause. I just accept that I could not control it and that it is Gods will for me. I am 50 and she is 45 but she began having the same symptom that you described. Were you on a low dose of estrogen by mouth. NO! 3. I completely recovered and had to start my own business to share in the household expenses. Either something happened that made her feel that way or shes lying. This causes them to shy away from physical intimacy. Im in my 50s and after years without feeling that hardness inside me anymore, I often find myself thinking about the next 30 years without. Related Reading: How Do You Deal With A Quarrelsome Wife? Fully. he is very persistent. She is just plain not sexually attracted to me. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. Weve been married for 37 years. I tried internet sex and while interesting it is not enough.
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