A pub crawl. Not subscribed to Fatherlys newsletter yet? If theres a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? Australians Are The Funniest People In The World And These 32 Jokes About The Coronavirus Prove It. 5. What holiday do pigs celebrate every February? An in-person blind date may not be the best idea for this Valentine's Day. In a recent episode of the adult animated series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the royal couple are lampooned with a series of jokes referencing events from the last few years. "Bea." Because you're a keeper!" We all know the only approved vax humor is a jazzy dance number with human syringes twirling around Stephen Colbert. I can't bear to be without you. A remote date can in some ways tell you more about the other person than an in person date. According to the commandments set forth by the sensitivity police, comedy should always punch up, never down. Woody Harrelson's vaccine jab wasn't wrong: The Left still can't take a joke over COVID. "The Big Bang Theory" star and "Jeopardy!" host posted a video . Decorating your space or taking a walk are festive ways. "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands. He was mocked and subject to a torrent of backlash from his once adoring progressive cheering section. What should you do if you dont understand a coronavirus joke? ", "How do you keep a jewelry store save on Valentine's Day?" Cause they had great chemistry! You locket. Who's there? From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. Er, let me re-phrase that. Are you frozen again? Being frozen on Zoom is one thing. We have a card that was specifically planned to espouse how fast life moves, and how we may forget to stop and say, I appreciate you. Everyones life has gotten a little bit smaller this year. Its the most important thing is to remember that your value was not based on whether or not you have a partner. What do you call two birds in love? On Tuesday, June 30, more than 48k new coronavirus cases were confirmed in the US. (Actually, in general, talking about his or her genitals may not be the best sign before a first date.) Amazing illustration images for your next project. Because it's all heart. So toilet paper, or a character wearing a mask, immediately brings you to the current day. In meantime, here is The Weeknd singing his hit song Can't Feel My Face, along with a bunch of dancers who look like theyve been to the emergency room. Do you have an ice pack? ", "Knock, knock." What did the stamp say to the Valentine's card envelope? Valentines Day is the second-largest card-giving holiday; 145 million cards are exchanged each year. I love you to the moon and back. You'll get a kick out of these silly love puns related to animals, food, and more! We used Shoebox, one of our humor brands, to help people laugh a little in this really unfortunate situation. Tweethearts! We fit together. What ideas have come out of your Covid Valentine's Day collection? You cant be fired for drinking on the job. "Who's there?" 1 Tracy Smith I. Consider a remote Valentines date or celebration. COVID exists. We heard anecdotally from people who display their cards more than they used to. Your weekly guide to what we buy, why we buy it, and why it all matters. I find you ribbiting. COVID-19, the disease caused by the virus, is no laughing matter, but a strong dose of humor is part of what we need to get us through a time like this. I found the perfect match! Valenswine's. What did the flame say when he met the love of his life? This is a BETA experience. Because I cant smile without you! 6. Additionally, the pandemic can further complicate what you may normally do prior to the mattress dance. For example, you may typically want to know your potential partners sexually transmitted infection (STI) status, especially if he or she has been sexually active. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? Wearing face masks can reduce the chances of transmitting the Covid-19 coronavirus. ", "What did the cucumber say to the pickle?" I find you very attractive. In a year like this, that non-romantic sending, using Valentines Day to express gratitude, is really important. Woody Harrelson took a jab at the jab and revealed that much of the left still views COVID vaccines not as a medical advancement but as a religious virtue. He was rubbing his hands together. Soon, though, with the viral threat snowballing into one of the greatest public disasters of modern history, the absurdity level skyrocketed. 571 174 virus face mask. This story has been shared 122,272 times. Some are funny and light, and others attempt to speak for a world thats become mired in grief. You're o-fish-ally my favorite. Guppy love. Lockdown means you get to decide each day what outfit youll wear in your livingroom. That cant be further from the truth. After a few months away from the office, as it became clear that Covid wasnt going away anytime soon, Hallmark got to work producing a line of cards specifically tuned to pandemic life. WHO let the dogs out. "He acted like a nut. Now that Chris Wallace is gone, Fox News anchor Bret Baier is often posed as the chief mascot for the network's "real journalism" but his interview with FBI Director Christopher Wray shows . ", "What do you tell a pig on February 14?" We had one that said, Its your birthday and you dont look any older from 6 feet away. We also had cards that were more heartfelt. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona. For couples not living in the same household, outdoor dates are considered better than indoor get-togethers, according to health officials. Is your name Chapstick? "A valen-tiny. Just because you forgot to celebrate January 25, doesnt mean that you dont appreciate bubble wrap. 100 Valentine's Day Puns 1. However, unless that person is already living with you, maintain precautions throughout the date. The same is true for delivering an excessive number of oysters. "You look so BOOtiful. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. Country Living editors select each product featured. "You light my world up. Some mornings I wake up thinking I'm Mickey Mouse, and other times I . From people that are by your side every day, to people who are on the front lines. Please consider making a one-time contribution to Vox today. It was a slow realization of, Okay, this may be longer than a month. As a creative team, in a highly collaborative process of making greeting cards, we were able to pivot very quickly into something we could do remotely. What do pickles say on Valentine's day? Kristin Cavallari called herself "heartless" this week, admitting she's ended relationships via text in the past. The show, based on the investigative book of the same name, told the story of how Purdue pharma in concert with the FDA and some media were able to make oxycontin a mainstay of the rural American diet. The number of U.S. infections from COVID-19 has topped 800,000 and deaths are over 50,000. We never made light of the situation. "Choco-late. It helps keep everyone at a safe distance. I love our row-mance. How hard was it to come up with the right tone for a greeting card in the middle of a public health crisis? What kind of dinner does Cupid eat? Feb. 14 is Valentine's Day, and while it may be known as the most romantic day of the year, there's more to it than just long-stemmed roses, chocolates, and fancy dinners.Studies show that laughter leads to stronger, longer-lasting love. For example, you may be against storming the U.S. Capitol while wearing a Viking hat and animal pelts. Tomorrow may not be your typical Valentine's Day with the Covid-19 coronavirus pandemic. It's sure to lighten the mood and liven up the day! Clean Jokes About Food. What did one boat say to the other boat? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens. I love you a whole watt! Because I think you're da balm! They said a mask and gloves was enough to go to the grocery store. From convos with pets to lock down spins on the classic knock-knocks, here are some of the funniest quarantine, COVID-19, pandemic, and virus jokes on the internet. "Juno, who?" Think carefully and use these criteria before having sex. Its something we have to live with. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. I wanna give you. Leaving your date sprawled out on the rink and just going home is not good form. Health & Beauty. "Candy rappers. That means each of you stays separate from other people for over one Scaramucci. Heat lamps can make the outside more hospitable. (Photo: [+] Getty). "Be my Valen-slime! 190 98 people face mask. And, sure, we can plan the .css-k807px{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSenary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#006603;-webkit-transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;background:linear-gradient(to bottom,#e6f4e1 0,#e6f4e1 100%);-webkit-background-position:0 100%;background-position:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webkit-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;}.css-k807px:hover{color:#29511A;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;-webkit-background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;}perfect date, pick out the ideal Valentine's Day gift, and bake up some special desserts. Setting your surroundings on fire can help with the temperature, but there are other issues with doing so. "Who's there?" However, the pandemic has made getting STI tests more difficult. The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes, and people can only come out if they take the cartels drugs and keep taking them over and over., He added, I threw the script away. Don't go bacon my heart. Even the name significant other can make you feel insignificant if you dont have a partner. Elon Musk thinks were close to solving AI. You can also contribute via. There is still no real national response in place for handling the virus as President Trump has been pressuring states to reopen their economies against the advice of health experts. After that The Weeknd will be wandering throughout the restaurant: Instead, treating the date like the Super Bowl means doing a little planning. South Park has made headlines for its controversial depiction of Harry and Meghan. Dirty fish tanks. Even though the setting may be boring, the conversation doesnt have to be so. Of course, sitting around in your home repeating, no one is calling me, no one is calling me, no one is calling me, is not going to get an invite unless you are telepathic or consider robo-calls to fit the bill. Try to wear face masks as much as you can. Hows that not up to the individual, he said. "SNL at Home" was even hosted by Tom. A kidnap survivor who suffered from PTSD in quarantine has condemned Matt Hancock for making jokes at the expense of people who faced having to stay in quarantine hotels during the Covid pandemic. The nostrils are the windows to the boogers instead. Just ask Jon Stewart, who last year presented a hilarious and extremely logical theory that the virus was indeed from the Wuhan lab. You can still learn more about your date fifty paces apart in a park. Im saving the world! Happy Valen-swine's Day! Were not mad, just disappointed. It was March when the work-from-home shift happened for us. "He's a keeper. Love is blind, while marriage is an eye-opener! You can live inside my heart for free. How did we become so incurious and docile? You can now buy a fraction of a house. "Butch, Jimmy and Joe." ", "I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. He was 61. What's the most popular shape on Valentine's Day? ". Don't worry about paying rent! Because if we don't laugh, we'll cry. ", "Knock knock." "Grab food, go to your . Select a covid 19 illustration for free download. Panelists joke about killings journalists. Here are our favorite hilarious V-day sayings that are bound to put a smile on your face. Being actually frozen is another. Regardless, here are 10 things to keep in mind on a day thats spawned many advertisements and rom-coms: 1. "I have a crutch on you. "Olive." I love you baaaaaaack! He'll never dessert you. Two . Again, the beauty is that were all going through the same thing when it comes to the impact Covid has had on our day-to-day lives. Unfortunately for the haters out there, it looks like I'm going to. "We're a perfect match. Since talking, especially while eating, could spray droplets and hot dog fragments, its a good idea to maintain at least a Denzel distance throughout the date, even when wearing a face mask. By hair-mail! What are some unexpected consequences of over-the-counter efforts to treat COVID-19? Thats because a shortage of the contraceptive sponge meant that she couldnt just leap into bed with anyone. ", "Knock, knock." Arthur. For months nobody has walked into a bar. Or using the Zoom filter of a cat, since we are in person. Try to reduce your risks of getting infected. More specifically, prior to the daye, go over the precautions that you will mutually take. "Olive you! "Lots of hogs and kisses. For example, any setting will allow you to discuss why it is better to fly rhinos upside down: Of course, you probably will have to remove your face masks to eat, unless you have decided to eat at the Everything Through a Straw restaurant. Dua? Nashville radio station SuperTalk 99.7 WTN confirmed. How are they different from the cards you made a year ago? So, the first thing we did was highlight the cards we already had that met those needs. . 30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite. Covid-19 Starter Kit. What do you say to your single friends on Valentines Day? Using toilet paper rolls and social distancing to talk about love. My husband purchased a world map and then . ", "How can you tell when a squirrel is in love?" Yes, February 14! You're dino-mite! Valentine's Day Knock-Knock Jokes Knock, knock. But we cant let ideology trump our desire to find some consensus. Cards are one of the simple ways people can reach out to each other. Right now, getting vaccinated is not enough either. "He gave her a ring. "Justin who? "I find you very attractive. Hallmark reports triple-digit growth in their e-commerce sales throughout 2020. Conservative talk radio host Phil Valentine is now on a ventilator after being hospitalized with COVID-19 last week. I'm stuck on you! ", "What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?" Has anything about this pandemic underscored the pride you take in designing greeting cards? (Photo: Getty). Birne-Stone wanted to remind everyone that Valentines Day is about love. Whats the best part of teaching your children at home? Then there are your eyebrows, which are wonderful, like the delicate tails of a cat. "Butter." I have COVID. The first COVID jokes and puns reflected reality and aimed at educating people. These Valentine's Day Jokes Will Make You Both LOL, Romantic Valentine's Day Quotes for Love Notes, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads, "Why shouldn't you trust a pastry chef on Valentine's Day?" He gave her a ring. Putting disinfectant on your body is a bad idea. So, the movie goes like this, Harrelson said. What did the beluga say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? I love you a ton. "Butter pucker up Valentine! What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine's Day? Its still not clear whether the available Covid-19 vaccines will prevent someone from carrying and shedding the virus. 14. "Who's there?" Note, when discussing Commando make sure you clarify whether it is about the movie or something else. But they do say that the eyes are the window to the soul, not the mouth or the nostrils. To jump start a conversation over Zoom, consider pre-selecting topics and offering options to the other person (or people for a group get-together). Do you like Star Wars? What did the stamp say to the envelope? "Yes, it's February 14. Burnt lips. I'm not kitten around, I love you. Will you support Voxs explanatory journalism? We guarantee theyll have the under 10 set giggling (and the sound of your kids laughter is sweeter than any chocolate bar). I dont have to wear the mask. valentine's day jokes (TODAY / Getty Images) Are you the internet? And yes, a few jokes. All of that is really topical right now, so thats where we started. ", "How much candy do you hope to get this Valentine's Day?" ", "What did one watermelon say to the other?" "Who's there?" Ultimately, remember that Valentines Day is just one day out of an entire year. Learning about potential key differences as soon as possible can be a tremendous time saver. Think of what may go wrong with a venue before choosing and going to it. Peas who? Living through a global pandemic, scary as it is, is also ripe with joke material. .css-pf75fd{color:#12837c;display:block;font-family:Mogan,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-pf75fd:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-pf75fd{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-pf75fd{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.css-pf75fd{font-size:1.375rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-pf75fd{font-size:2.00879rem;line-height:1.1;}}See Alex and Paige's Sweet Valentine's Day Pics, See Why Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick Are Too Cute, Say 'I Do' to These Memorable Wedding Movies, The Most Popular Valentine's Day Candy by State, Write These Cute Valentine's Day Wishes in a Card, We Love These Valentine's Day Instagram Captions, Shop Alex's Cute Heart Coat Just in Time for V-Day, Stream 'Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown' Right Now, Share These Valentine's Day Puns With Your Honey, 50 Galentine's Day Gifts to Treat Your BFFs, 50 Romantic Valentine's Day Songs to Stream Now, 50 Sweet Valentine's Day Quotes for Your Friends. At the beginning of the lockdown, did you feel the need to change the kind of cards you were making and address the pandemic in the content? As the CDC describes on their website, there are currently no FDA-cleared self-tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis, the most commonly reported STDs in the U.S. Like, the Christmas cards you make might not be seen in stores for a full calendar year. Mr. Valentine is one of 514 Covid-19 patients currently hospitalized in Tennessee, representing a 78 percent increase over the last two weeks, according to a New York Times database. These days, winging it is not the best thing to do. Or perhaps some couples could celebrate with you. What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium? Tell me more about how you found the right voice for humor right now. "Arthur any chocolates. What do astronauts say to their sweethearts? Does the work you do at Hallmark feel more vital during a pandemic? Be with other people and show your love to others, especially if you are single. Right-wing radio host Phil Valentine has passed away after battling coronavirus. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. There was, of course, the F-word. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? He stole her heart! Peas. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. That's when I realized what a true friend was. I havent, he says, but my neigh-bor has.. Tweethearts. ", "What do farmers give for Valentines Day?" "Disguise is your boy friend! Its easy to lose sight of the big picture during Valentines Day. And, yes, we have Valentine's Day dad jokes too. By the way, if you are going to send food to someone and send out a rectal specimen for testing, make sure that you dont mix up the two shipments. One of them says to the other, Mine are so good at social distancing, they wont even call me.. Humor is an essential coping tool for surviving tough times. I never thought the comment I wouldnt touch them with a 6-foot pole would become a national policy, but here we are! Angela Ensminger, Hallmarks creative product development director, has designed cards at the company for 20 years. Therefore, before choosing to have sex with someone, consider quarantining for 14 days first. "I turt-ally love you. You've caged my heart. 10 Tips To Enjoy Valentine's Day, Love With Covid-19 Coronavirus Around More From Forbes Feb 23, 2023,02:00am EST Improving Survival Of Babies After Birth Will Decrease Population Growth. What did the watch say to his girlfriend? Whether you're single, dating, married or on the brink of divorce, we've rounded up 24 tweets to give you a good laugh. Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, See? You know what theyre saying about 2020. Will you be brine! In any other era, this caption would be totally nonsensical Valentines Day by Dada. 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", "Why did the sheriff lock up their valentine?" Even then, a test will only tell whether you are contagious at that particular moment. On Valentine's Day, we will stop at nothing to put a smile on the faces of our loved ones. But the February 14 is right around the corner even as the country continues to report around 100,000 new cases a day. Not to mention the very top of the bridge of your nose. Sure, seeing a persons entire face can give your better sense of his or her reaction to you, such as sticking a tongue out at you while you say anything. The wurst-kase scenario. It was always on our radar that we had an opportunity to help people connect, because physical contact was so limited. I woof you! Alex Murdaugh stands guilty of killing his wife and son. You cant go by feeling alone. They said you had to wear a mask at the grocery store. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Romantic Valentine's Day Quotes for Love Notes, You'll Both Crack Up Over These Valentine's Puns, 26 Valentine's Day Restaurant Deals for 2023, Valentine's Day Questions to Ask Your Love, The 17 Best Online Flower Delivery Services, Best Places to Get Heart Shaped Pizza 2023, Galentine's Day Gifts for Friends They'll Love, What You Need to Know About Galentine's Day, 50 Best Romantic Valentine's Day Dinner Ideas, Fun Valentine's Day Crafts to Make This February. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? "Who's there?" If their answers are like what virus or we dont have specific precautions, stay away. Try these Valentine's Day puns to bring some laughter into your romantic day. What do you call someone whose life didnt change after quarantine? Ill tell you a coronavirus joke now, but youll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it. So while funny jokes even coronavirus and quarantine jokes might feel gratuitous in the face of todays world, they can actually do a lot of good. What does a vampire call his sweetheart? We accept credit card, Apple Pay, and "Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's Joe. Nina Golgowski. Photo: twitter. What did one light bulb say to the other? You know what that means. Or see each others entire faces via Zoom or some other video app. Harrelson who was brilliant as rubber-handed Roy Munson in Kingpin and most recently playing a hyperbolic version of himself in Curb Your Enthusiasm can and should be judged on the quality of the joke. ". So where tragedy and humor meet, somewhere in the middle there . How do chefs show their love? Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. I have written before for Forbes about how to have safe sex during the pandemic. Last year, everyone was decorating earlier for Christmas and Halloween. Check out these funny love quotes and sweet Valentine's Day quotes. "If it's love at first bite. Latinos have come through with the Fabuloso jokes because we have to . What did the single guy say to the single woman during lockdown? Ice skating can be fun. A courtship. They should have mentioned clothes, too. 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Sam Brinton is a cautionary tale for woke world that prizes identity above all, 'The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling' is a much-needed dose of sanity, Sorry, Brittany Mahomes, but the Chiefs don't deserve an apology, The internet is destroying our kids shocking new CDC teen report the latest proof, 'Unrecognizable' Madonna proves she is a clueless narcissist. Use Valentines Day to practice self-love. "Olive who?" ", "Knock knock." Woody Harrelson caused an uproar when he joked about the COVID-19 vaccine on "Saturday Night Live . You can count on me! ", "Knock, knock." ", "Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?" He hit headlines after his family said he regretted "not being. This time last year, the powerful Hulu series Dopesick was an awards show darling. A high-fiber diet. Dont go to locations where face mask wearing is not encouraged. A-cute triangle. "Who's there?" Latest News & Numbers. Maintain social distancing if the other person is not already in your social bubble, even if the person has gotten the Covid-19 vaccine or been tested for Covid-19. A calendar. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow. Make sure what you send is appropriate though. This story has been shared 109,843 times. Valenswine's Day. Like swiping right on everything that doesnt involve a disinfectant towelette. What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day? One of the best things about the company is our range. I would make a COVID-19 joke, but it would be tasteless. What do you tell a pig on February 14? Because I'm feeling a connection. Say you already know the person and that person realizes that the severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV2) is real and spectacular, potentially spectacularly bad, that is. "Justin time for your Valentine! What did one novel coronavirus say to the other? Im not talking to myself, Im having a parent-teacher conference. I mean, who was going to believe that crazy idea? A well-timed pandemic joke can help us make sense of the traumatic year weve just been through. Valentine's Day can be a tricky holiday for anyone. ", "Why did the husband get his wife a kitten for Valentine's Day?" "Honeydew." Oops. It was once inconceivable that Americans would be celebrating Valentines Day 2021 in a lockdown. Valentines Day 2020: Funny nurse valentines Roses are red, violets are blue; we love nurses, but we especially like to amuse them with puns and off-color jokes on Valentine's Day. This will help you better understand the other persons views towards important subjects such as science and politics. Or it could be buying a favorite avocado treat or chocolate treat. Did she say avocado treat? "This is so row-mantic! You know you really love someone when they can make you laughno matter where or when! How are they different from the cards you made a year ago? What did you say about a late Valentine's Day gift? "You locket. What ideas have come out of your Covid Valentines Day collection? "He gave her a ring! It can be like removing the packaging and the advertising. You cannot push fettuccini or hot dogs through a face mask. Need more inspiration for love-themed laughs? ", "What did the ghost say to his valentine?" Google Pay. ", "What did the scientist say to her valentine?" Phil Valentine, a Nashville-based conservative radio talk show host who had questioned whether it was necessary for all people to get Covid-19 vaccines, died on Saturday, his employer, WWTN Radio . 358 90 covid corona. The virus is mainly transmitted though reparatory droplets going into your mouth and nose. ", "How did the squirrel get his Valentine's attention?" During the best of times, Valentines Day often results in disappointments. ", "How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?" Valentine's condition steadily worsened since announcing his diagnosis. If it is the surprise that makes you happy, provide five options that others can choose from., Keep in mind that the options should not include something like mask-less mosh pits. "Yes, the rumors are true. Otherwise, there could be some nasty surprises. Phil Valentine's death at age 61 was announced Saturday by Nashville radio .
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