I get up, dress up, and show up. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. INSPIRATIONAL positive mindset affirmation #shorts #short #shortvideo Every day I am devoted to my passions and dreams. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Stay focused and consistent, and youll start noticing the healing powers of humor and fun. 194. People only rain on my parade because they are jealous of my sun and tired of their shade. I create my life on a quantum level. Love your enemies. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. 37. We have a connection. 86. I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people. Exercise? I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor. 1,132 Positive Affirmations: Your Daily List of - Develop Good Habits Share them with your friends and colleagues and make them smile too. Make it inspiring. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'. I didnt want to interrupt her. 120. People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Dont forget to drink water and get some sun. God's promises are here to give you perfect peace, good news, renew your strength and reveal the will of God in your life. Rodney Dangerfield, 198. Superwoman: single. Happiness is a choice. You can make friends and have good relationships if you believe in your sense of humor and fill your mind with funny and positive thoughts. You never run out of things that can go wrong. 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. Say "Thank You" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of - YouTube If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. ~ Bill Gates. 225. 40. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash., 9. I love living in my unique female body. Pat Sajak, 41. 34. 20 Funny Positive Affirmations for Self-Esteem Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life Life is filled with highs and lows, sometimes, we need some inspirational quotes to help us overcome challenges of life and offer guidance to us. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. 3. 3. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. 265. You dont have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps. 181. I will smile while I still have my teeth. 47. 154. I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul. Funny affirmation quotes funny quotes about affirmation. Today, I acknowledge the time I have spent over the week. 115. "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. 33 Humorous Affirmations [The Best Ones] 7. 268. I dont need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Education cost money. 105. A wishbone. Short Positive Affirmations set the pace for your day. If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. Given below are some short quotes to tickle your funny bone. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Why was six scared of seven? Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? Roy Lichtenstein Funny Friday Quotes. I am capable of eating a family-sized bag of chips. 76. I am on a seafood diet. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. My body deserves healthy food and exercise, not junk food or laziness. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. Declare your affirmations slowly and clearly. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. 212. 132. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. 199. Have a look! Why become moody when you can shake your booty. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. No No NOYes. 85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez Be Funny Positive Affirmations 202. 78. I am awesome. I am feeling wittier and more naturally funny. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. But this shouldnt be a problem, as you can come up with your own humorous affirmations. I am wise enough to make the same mistake again!, 8. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. 22. 32. Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks. 65. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Im like a postage stamp. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. The thing is, Im still getting ready. 242. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Decomposing. But you can always be immature. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. 45. It gets toad away. Paul Ehrlich 177. - Unkmown. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. Never forget that broken crayons can also color. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. 2. 68. The world is my buffet, and my plate is ready to go. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 70. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. 196. Franklin Jones 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes to Laugh About - Wealthy Gorilla Jackie Collins, 240. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. 19. Enjoy! 73. You have to go after it with a club. Your values become your destiny. Bill Murray Dave Barry. 123. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. If you see affirmations that say " I will, " " I used to, " or " I'm going to, " then this is NOT an affirmation. - Unknown. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. 64. 4. 17. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. 126. 174. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. My funny vibes attract my funny tribe., 3. Not me, but somebody does. 207. You can be positive and yet be funny and easy-going. No man goes before his timeunless the boss leaves early. These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. 27. ( @malacollective) Fear and adventure go hand-in-hand when you're following your dreams. 273. Alright, get in the basket.. Robert Bloch Never let anyone waste your time twice. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. 1. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me. 274. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way. Read the first word again. Really? Does it count if you say them in your mind? Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. I am so f*cking awesome. I never apologize. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. I am constantly growing and improving. Excuse me please, I have to go hide a treasure. 26. I am strong and getting stronger every day. 3. 218. You can simply try out one of our funny options, or think of affirmations that best match your sense of humor. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? 36. 171. I did it! Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. Heres a giant list of funny affirmations to help you relax your mind with a little humor when youre stressed. Not everyone has good taste. 60 Happy Friday Funny Memes Day of the Week - FunZumo On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.". "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". Its time to be much more intentional about the words that we tell ourselves and take a step back from all of lifes noise. 35. Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit, I just didnt see your car. 275. Run. 110 Funny Work Quotes To Jazz Up Your Workplace - Vantage Circle But it'll move up again.". I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. 33. 56. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Im amusing and make the people around me happy. 5. Theres no stopping me now. 190. You might undoubtedly relate with them, and yet you will not feel laid back because of your weaknesses. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. 98. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Should I Send My Child to Therapy? Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, 50 Funny Affirmations for Confidence, Motivation, and Self-Love, 39 Movies about Friendship and Being with Great People, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Treat, 45 Best Hobbies for Couples to Share Together, 51 Passion Project Ideas & Examples List for 2023, 21 Best Films That Explore Mental Illness, 41 Words of Encouragement for Someone in Jail, The 5 Best Vitamins for Anxiety (Our 2023 Review), 101 Toxic People Quotes to Stay Away from Negativity, 57 Strong Mom Quotes About Being a Powerful Parent, 7 Steps to Deal with Emotionally Unavailable Parents, 35 Best Songs About What Its Like to Have Anxiety. Effective pushing often involves poop. 62. Today, I am thankful for this week. 272. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. 260. 26. 1. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember 25. Life is a game full of little and big surprises. 220. 133. However, just saying these statements out loud wont cut it. I am tough and resilient. 230. 136. 119. You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. Can February march? 172. 261. 26. We all have different and distinctive senses of humor thats what makes us such unique individuals. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from the inside., 11. 215. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Enjoy! Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Ive been doing nothing for years. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. To conclude this list of funny affirmations, heres a few that are specifically focused around work. Look, youre smiling! 16. Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? Short Funny Quotes. Flip Wilson The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Today is a great day. 196. 7. I dont need excuses, because I never mess things up. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please. I dont cross oceans for people who wouldnt cross puddles for me. Ive got three bones. Top 75 Funny Daily Affirmations | Committed To Myself Which affirmation put a smile on your face? 72. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". I tried, but they wanted cash. Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat., 6. 231. 226. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. 102. I love my job only when Im on vacation. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. -Gandhi. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. 186. Bill Gates. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better. 185. My jokes do. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Funny affirmations youll find here will boost your confidence and make you laugh. 177. 97. 217. 161. It doesnt work if it is not open. Some people are like clouds. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. Theres life without Facebook and internet? Hence, avoid using past or future tenses. Henny Youngman, 246. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut., 6. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. Albert Einstein, 190. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. You deserve it! Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. I choose to stop obsessing about my body. 60 Happy Affirmations That Instantly Make You Feel Better 4. 29. 214. Live life to the fullest. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. Today I will embrace the poop. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Inbox. 254. "Whatever you do, do with all your might.". What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. Stuart Turner, 247. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Its okay if people dont like me. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits. Jun 19, 2018 - Explore Jamie Hadland's board "funny/sarcastic affirmations" on Pinterest. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything. Top 40 Best Funny Affirmations To Make Your Day (2023) 37. 189. It has nothing new to tell you. What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? I am not letting an episode of my life ruin the entire show. 18 Funny Positive Affirmations. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. It makes them so damned mad. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. What doesnt kill you makes your drinks stronger., 10. Art doesnt transform. Heres a list of funny affirmations that will improve your mood instantly. We'll get to that later. 28. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 110 Positive Funny Affirmations To Make You Smile Daily - The Random Vibez 102. Groucho Marx. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 159. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. Its okay, he woke up. 164. 100. 168. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. But you can always be immature. 117. You were too lazy to read that number. Walter Bagehot. Whenever I get back home, I lose all the superpowers that I had when with friends. 189. One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. Remember, What consumes your mind, controls your life., 7. 247. 245. 20 Positive Affirmations You Can Use to Inspire Your Life - Mindvalley Blog The best things in life are free. I accept my body the way it is today. I celebrate the highs, learn from the lows and now I release it into the past. How Do People Share The News About Their Engagements? 147. Positive music, resilience, inner strength and a growth mindset lead to success!. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. Im going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, Im outstanding. It gets toad away. I say what I want and i dont care what everyone else thinks about it. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. 8. 145. 93. How do astronomers organize a party? All you need is love. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Alison Boulter Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". 20 Most Powerful Affirmations Because Thoughts Become Things 2. Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 63. A mind is like a parachute. I can always be fatter. 131. 28. Consider what you want to accomplish using these witty affirmations, and go for the ones that will bring you closer to that goal. Your words become your actions. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. 24. Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret 151. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. I breathe in and out. 22. 236. Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text. To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Oh sheet! 235. I understand success cant happen overnight. And in that moment I swear I still didn't give a shit. 2. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Short Positive Affirmations "I Am" Affirmations. 130. 228. 160. 223. Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me., 8. Jonathan lockwood huie. 269. Life does a pretty good job of keeping us stressed and worried, we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. 57. 120 Funny/sarcastic affirmations ideas - Pinterest 67. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. 5. 124. Im gonna be worse., 12. 194. Let me know in the comments section down below! My jokes do. 91. I believe in what's possible for me. 99. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 144. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Check out our funny affirmations selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. Never ask a starfish for directions. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. 59. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. 8. Robert Bloch. 20. My body deserves love. Theres no stopping me now. How do you count cows? 80 Soren Kierkegaard Quotes On Love, Life And Philosophy, Top 90 Martin Luther King Jr. Dont forget that you get 24 hours, even on your worst day. I dont worry about getting older. My mistakes dont define me. 137. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. Sincerely, yourself. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? 253. Wonderwoman: single. 66. 108. 42. I can't make everyone happy, I'm not tequila. 193. 222. 249. They log in. 110. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible.". I am grateful for the healing power of humor. 15. Yesterday I did nothing and today Im finishing what I did yesterday. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know If only common sense were more common. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 274. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. "Life is like a roller coaster pic - scary at the moment, funny looking back.". Microchips. 127. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". You wanna know who Im in love with? Not everyone has good taste., 3. 178. 139. 107. 7. Breasts dont have eyes. Check out our funny affirmation selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our encouragement cards shops. I am here to live to the fullest. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. I release all shame about my body. The library, because it has so many stories. - George Burns. At night, I cant fall asleep. 76. 26. 117. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. 19. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. 187. 3. It was created to do amazing things. 125. The best things in life are free. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. 67. Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win. 65. 237. 1. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. 68. "If you see me talking to myself. 101. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Not everyone has good taste. 41. Give your body time to absorb the positivity and let go of negative thoughts. You can think about your affirmations at work, while driving, when you practice yoga, and when you spend time with your . I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. The world is missing some pizzazz. When the past comes knocking, dont answer. Only two more days until Friday.". Ive made it from the bed to the couch. I am full of vitality. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut. 112. We have rounded up the best collection of funny affirmations, quotes, sayings, captions, positive thoughts (with images and pictures) to encourage friends and family to manifest their thoughts into things. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Go to bed with satisfaction.". Everyone brings happiness to this office. Benjamin Franklin Absorb these 41 positive quotes and positive affirmations and start feeling positive now! 6. 123. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. It has the power to add levity to our daily challenges. 142. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. What is the tallest building in the entire world? I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. Steven Alexander Wright Send me the link. Read next: 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset, Posted on Published: January 26, 2023- Last updated: January 27, 2023, Home 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, Fabulous List Of 120 Cute Names To Call Your Crush, 120 Follow Your Dreams Quotes To Keep You On The Track. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. 163. Its scary when it disappears. The only power you have is the word no. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? 264. Not me, but somebody does. Im going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, Im outstanding. 275. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 139. And no, that's definitely not a bad thing! Whatever the case may be, these 15 affirmations will make you feel confident in your sense of humor: Once youre feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. 69. 93. I have seen better days, but Ive also seen worse. Funny Affirmations. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. 127. 31. 33. Emphasis on the cool. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Czech proverb, 261. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. It will just flow naturally. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. Bill Murray. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. 130. 1. 14. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way., See also: 120 Best Spiritual Universe Quotes To Contemplate Life. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Required fields are marked *. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. By waking up and repeating this mantra, you will set the tone for the day. 116. 75. Be careful when you follow the masses. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Frances McDormand 1. 24. I see food, and I eat it. 277. 278. These 50 funny affirmations will help you feel better about yourself while keeping a wide smile on your face. At night, I cant fall asleep. I am noticing that others are more drawn to me because I am funny. You need some sort of way to offset the inevitable stressors of life, and what better way to do that than with humor? You might use humor as a coping mechanism. Charles M. Schulz. Short Positive Daily Affirmations. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing. Bill Murray 206. 224. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours. I am positive. 7. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. In the morning, I cant get up. 278. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. 19 Positive Affirmations That'll Change the Way You Think 197. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. I am confused between what I like the most hanging out or posting that I hung out. 13. 191. 7. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for! May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short., See also: 120 Inspiring Wednesday Morning Blessings To Motivate You. 14. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. 234. It's OK to take a break. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. 1. 53. 10. 150. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. I live in a loving, nurturing, safe, and beautiful world. 7. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. ". Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. 2. Albert King. I just go normal from time to time. - F. Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. Some when they enter, some when they leave. The Only 100 Positive Affirmations You Will Ever Need Czech proverb Hes dreaming too. Socrates. 34. 40 Short Positive Affirmations + Free Printable - Dare Your Lifestyle Whether its because of a bad breakup or just feeling really down, there are ways to look on the bright side and come out on top.