2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. I mean, life is tough. The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. Yeah, the public sucks. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. ", 9. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. ", 6. They're all in favor of the unborn. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. Everybodys going to save something now. But once the child is born? It helps in improving the performance. Fewer Texans. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. Thats what the owners count on. "Don't give your money to the church. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. ", 9. (LogOut/ This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. ", 27. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? ", 75. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? "I was a loner as a child. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 40. You think your current financial. And complaining about the politicians. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. ", 120. Enjoy! "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Deal with it. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. - Gin Wigmore. George Carlin. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? But dont participate; it will be your death. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. They own, and control the corporation. "How is it possible to have a civil war? New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. I'm a cowboy who . "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. You have owners. ", 108. It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. You dont. September 12, 2019. Set by Bluekai, this cookie stores anonymized data about the users' web usage in an aggregate form to build a profile for targeted advertising. The rights and the rights of property. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Individualists. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. 28. r/antiwork. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. "In America, anyone can become president. "It's called the American dream . ", 63. They want obedient workers. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. F*ck Hope. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Take George Carlin, for example. ", 104. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. The video featured audio from George's Wake Up America bit combined with imagery of events and people in today's society. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. And nobody seems to notice. ", 33. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. You have owners. Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. Where are these people hiding? LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". This cookie is used by Akamai to optimize site security by distinguishing between humans and bots. They own and control the corporations. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. George Carlin Quotes On . You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. No nothing. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. I didn't bother with him. No president has done right by us. They've got you by the balls. They own you. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. That's generally been true. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. Carlin is usually spot on. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. A Death! ", 56. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. You have no choice. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. Quantserve sets the mc cookie to anonymously track user behaviour on the website. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Everybody complains about politicians. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. ", 20. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. At all. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. They own everything," the quote reads. ", 10. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. After that, they dont wanna know about you. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. Its you. Carlin was a New York City-based stand-up comedian, social critic, writer, and actor, best known for his unconventional and vulgar comedy routines. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. 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I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. The table has tilted, folks. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. ", 90. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. 43. ", 14. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. ", 35. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. ", 68. What if I want to have a crappy day? Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Well what if I don't want to? Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? [] I look at war a little bit differently. "I have as much authority as the Pope. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. They never mention that part to us, do they? This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. (LogOut/ I think the life cycle is all backwards. ", 46. Simple thing. G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time. Fascism won it. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. "Everyone smiles in the same language. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. "Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ", 10. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ", 4. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. ", 3. ", 67. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 12 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 5 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 1 hour 16 minutes. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. Cookie associated with embedding content from Snapchat. "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' ", 19. "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. After that, they don't wanna know about you. You don't. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. Broadly speaking. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. -George Carlin There you are. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: [email protected] #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet I'm your huckleberry. This is what we have to offer. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. Its because volunteers work for no pay. ", 66. But, he is wrong here. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? ", 7. The truth is, we dont have people like that. "Some people see the glass half full. This cookie is set by pippio to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. You have owners. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it.